i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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