Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
