belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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