I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
