I could make wine with my vomit
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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