words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
