I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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