Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
