Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
