If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
