Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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