K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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