we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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