well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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