Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
