Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
