Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
