Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
