is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
