Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
