420 ftw
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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