i think my mom watched the whole time
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
