Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
