I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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