Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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