just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
