From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
