I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
