talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
