hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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