just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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