You're my little dorito
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
