We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Can you bring me the toilet please
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
