Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
