I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
we made out on top of his cat.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
