I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
