Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
