Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
it's like iHOP with fire
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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