they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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