and i looked up. we had an audience...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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