They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
