Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
