I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
