Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
