Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
