Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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