he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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