No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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