Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
