That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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