i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
