I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
false alarm. still invincible.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
