Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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