Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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