I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
